What Does a Man Do ?

tumblr_m7153rM1jT1rw7n3jo1_500If I was a man, naked, without tools or ropes, sticks, whips or techniques, just a man on two feet, naive in the world, what would I do to get a camel, or a horse to like me, to respect me, to want to be with me? How would I go about developing such a relationship with the life around me? How would we arrive at a clear, mutual, understanding? How would love come into it?

You might be a horse, or a camel, a bird, or a woman… you might be another man, or a dolphin…

When I first see you I’m disarmed. I see only mystery and wonder in your eyes. I feel how powerful yet vulnerable you are. I’m drawn… I want to know you.

So, as a man, I walk out into the field where you live and I find a place to sit down. I choose OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAto spend time around you so we can get to know each other. I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t bring you anything. I don’t have anything I want to make you do. I don’t even know you. I give you all the space you need. I simply want to be somewhere around you. I sit, and we share time and space.

I come often like this. And sit. And slowly, overtime, we know each other.

Because I have no ropes and we are out in the open field I can never control you. I never want to control you.

If I had a rope and we were tied together how could you trust me, or choose to be with me? How could you want to?

225228_2077082646322_1222676096_32567713_4722841_nIt’s important for me to know that you value and choose this relationship because you like me, respect and trust me. I don’t want to win you over. I want to draw your trust, respect, love, companionship. I don’t look down on you. I see you’re the same as me. Fundamentally the same.

Every moment we’re together is new, spontaneous, not controlled, two beings together, feeling each other, without binding contracts. You are always free to leave. I will always let you leave. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Your spirit must remain free. Only in your freedom can you fully choose.

This is what I want. This is what a man does. He lives without controls. He doesn’t dominate other living things. He has to be willing to be free, himself, guiding but not controlling, inviting but not demanding, giving but not manipulating. This is how he loves and knows you, and serves your heart.

Too many men for too many centuries have sought to control you out of fear and emptiness. They want to own you, to pretend you’re theirs. They want to make you do things, to perform, to obey. The ropes and chains, corrals and tricks are brought out. They start forcing you into things against your best interests. Very quickly you’re under their control, because they make you feel it is safer to do it their way. And gradually you forget what it is to be a free horse, a free camel, a free human being.

Most of our relationships are not true, whether with animals or each other. We’ve forgotten that we’re free, and we continue to enslave ourselves and each other.

Most men don’t really want to know you as you are.

061016_JellyStuIf I allow myself to know you as you really are I have to change my whole life, my way of being, my need for control. Everything must change. To be a man, a simple, free and true man is a great responsibility. And to see you as you are, to support your free heart, demands great responsibility if I’m to always honor your trust.

My interest has become one of supporting your free heart, developing a free conversation between us, no controls, no mere techniques, no submission to fear and anger. The only expectations are freedom, trust, listening, cooperation, respect, love and letting go into and beyond each and every moment, in the living present.

This is what a man does.

While understanding his moment he guides everyone and everything he meets and knows, toward freedom and the heart.

Until he can do this, he only tries. When he stops resisting, and trying, it happens.



Adi Da Samraj: The world is transformed by one’s presumption about it. Those who live in a magical disposition toward the world change their world in one characteristic way: They do not seem to do very much with it as a natural phenomenon. They are very protective of it as a natural phenomenon and want to interfere with it as little as possible, because it is only by letting the world be what it is as a natural process, without interference, that it has the opportunity to produce magical signs and therefore to permit them to engage in magical relations with it…


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12 Responses to What Does a Man Do ?

  1. Renee Holmes says:

    Thank you for your writing down of these wonderful events that make up your life, and your relationship and service to Adi Da. You are truly Blessed. Your words are as wonderful as the pictures :)

  2. Leslie Waltzer says:

    this would be good human to human too.

  3. Kay Witt says:

    Lovely commentary, Stuart. Thanks for this wonderful website and for the gentle service you do at The Fear No More Zoo.

  4. Karin says:

    Touching . . . . heart. . . . . mystery. . . . . no time . . . . .

  5. Eija says:

    Beautiful, respectful, lovely…

  6. Anne says:

    So beautifully said, Thank You!! Sharing this with all my friends and family.

  7. Helena says:

    One of the most genuine and honest articles I’ve read in a long time. It applies to animals and to humans. Thank you so very much for sharing these wonderful thoughts. I work with adults and children who have been on the receiving end of such control, and my four horses are part of our therapeutic, or rather healing team. If permitted , I would very much like to share this article. Once again, thank you for those honest and wise thoughts.

  8. jan elliott says:

    Beautiful gentle communication. Thank you Stuart.

  9. Joan Felt says:

    Your article drew me into Communion and deeper sensitivity to the way some indigenous, shamanic people, and, of course, our Heart Master Adi Da, understand and participate in the event of, the gift of life. Thank you.

  10. randall hoel says:

    Most happy-and-feeling telling of the natural dispositon of vulnerable relationship….. (i loved it, thank you)

  11. Joy says:

    WOW! Beautiful! Amazingly divine insights! So much love and captivation right back at you!

  12. Daniel Hawley says:

    This is a guide for all humans (and especially men) to live in the disposition of sanity, giving up the need to try to dominate and control everything, to be willing to allow life to unfold in its mysterious ways, to trust in the willingness to love and BE love, under all conditions, open-hearted, (if not heart broken).

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